So it's time to discuss a very strange recent discovery. I know it's really weird. Way too weird to be anything more than coincidence... but I needed something to blog about... right... so...
I've noticed that when I'm walking, specifically past a group of birds (which happen to fly around all over and land near by looking for food, etc) that depending on how I'm feeling I get a different response from them. Their natural response since I've been big enough to walk and notice the little birdies is that they fly away if anyone gets too close. But something odd I've noticed. When I'm walking and I think of you... well... their reactions change... Most of the time I'm walking.. trying not to think about how much I miss everything about you. In those cases... the little birdies fly away... like they feel something wrong in me... but to finally talk about my strange discovery...
When I walk by the little birdies... and I think about all the things of you that make me happy... primarily your smile... the birdies just don't fly away. Weird, I know... but it's true.
This isn't some kind of metaphor for anything. What I say means what I say.
I'm not saying there's something scientific or even mystical about it. It's just weird... It's not just a one time thing. It's happened every time I've gone out. I might as well have studied it full time.
But anyway... part of me thinks it's just more proof of what you do to me. You make me feel.... pure... I guess... pure, blissful joy. Even something as simple as your smile. I wonder if that happening in me has any kind of effect on the little birdies... Probably not... like I said... it's just too weird to be anything other than coincidence... but it never fails to get my attention. Happens every time... I could step on the winged beasties if I had a mind to. They don't fly away at all.
But I don't... birdies are nice.
3 voice(s):
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Thanks again for your kind words. I still believe I'm half insane. Only sane enough to realize how insane I've actually become. And yet I'd give a million times more if it meant having her back.
Not that this has anything to do with this post... but she loves me just as much as I love her. I'd argue that I love her more, but I can't know for sure. She's stopped showing almost all signs of affection for me, but it's very very rare that I cause it to all pour out of her. I try not to hurt her by reminding her of such things. By letting her keep strong and focus on her life and her choices, but it doesn't change the way I feel. Still... shes the most amazing soul I've ever met... and it's been so long since we've had a real "actual" friendship even. Back when we first met we were crazy over spending time with each other. Going to sleep late, waking up early. Even with the six hour time difference. Spending every possible available hour with each other.
Now I'm lucky to hear from her once a month.
And it still makes no sense to me. How much we really love each other... yet we aren't together. I've gotten from her in the past how much she "needs me" and "wants to be with me" and somehow shes buried those ideas deep. I guess I can't seem to find my shovel.
Anyway... howd this turn into a lovesick rambling...?
hmm...
So yeah... thanks for your comments. They are very nice.
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Birdies always liked the criminally insane, noobie.
Jk, I agree with Panicking Girl. :P She's got a fair point. :)
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I think that the pure, blissful joyful feelings do effect the birds and thats why they don't flee. Like I said on another one of your posts, you give off positive energy- even though you do miss someone dearly, keep it up! Don't let go, your energy is effecting different individuals- the birdies
Love, Panicking Girl <3