Right off the bat I'll let you know what the theme is so you can decide to continue reading or click away. I figure what better for me to talk about something that has had a lot of influence in my life - Love. So for those of you who hate love, as well as those of you who love hate, well, feel free to run away screaming.
For starters, I don't consider my self an expert on the field as I know that there are as many different views on love as there are souls on this earth. So, if you find my opinion on the matter too strong or too self assuming, it's not cause I'm trying to be. It's never that way. I'll just be speaking what's on my mind. Why not? I mean... that's what these places are for right?
Well, with all that out of the way I guess I'll just start by saying what love is (to me, of course). It's not really simple to just pick anywhere to start, so sorry for the random assortment of things.
For the sake of simplicity I'll just say that there are 2 main kinds of love.
-The love for someone in your life, the general desire for that person to be happy, the feeling of knowing someone else means so much to you that you'd go so far to assure they are alright. We'll call this love A
-The love where that other someone makes your life perfect. The stuff of fairy tales. I believe it exists not because I'm a dreamer, but because I've experienced it. We'll call this love 36... no just kidding, we'll call it love B.
Love A exists among an individual and all other individuals close to them in their life. Well, I suppose it doesn't always envelope all the people close to them in the life, but it will certainly always apply to those special few.
Love B, and call me old fashioned all you want, exist between two souls, a perfect bond, where against all odds, and all worries, the love shines through. The desire to see the other person happy no matter the cost. You might notice the scale tip in a bit in Love B's favor. I guess I just have a lot more on my mind at the moment to do with this love. The desire to be the perfect person for who you consider to be your better half. No matter what happens at all, give me any scenario, you'll still care more for that person than anything else in existence combined. They are the foundation of every thought in your head. Although not biologically true, they are the reason for your every breath. Things like that only make sense to someone who has experienced it. This love has the ability to make that other person more valuable than anything you can come up with in your head. This love makes the other person perfect to you, even when you know that no one is ever truly perfect. In my case, it's the love that makes me see how she is the most perfectly beautiful woman in the world. It's the love that makes me want to tell her every second of every day how much of a queen she is to me. How you have the ability to feel their soul, when only speaking intimately with them. To have the, be the purest source of joy and goodness, warmth in all of existence. The one that warms your heart. The one that stirs your soul. The one that makes your heart beat at the most illogical rhythm imaginable. To feel your heart beat faster than moments can pass while at the same time slower than just before not beating. The love that is on your mind the very moment of every day that you wake up. A love that you would do anything to have. A love that you know you could be the perfect person to, and for.
Love A, again, where you literally care about the person in such a way that you can really feel your heart react to the thoughts of how much that person means to you.
Well, I happen to have come across that special person in my life who brings out the fullest potential of both of these types of love in my life. And to add to my luck, she loves me in the same way.
However, to debate my position on hating life, I offer the fact that I no longer have her. No longer have her to tell her I love her every day. I see her so infrequently and miss her every moment of every day. The kicker; she still loves me. But somehow, for some reason, we just can't be together. I can't ever get her off my mind. I wouldn't call it obsession either. She means more than I can possibly state in a sentence with the use of humanistic vocabulary. I hate not having her, but overall I just want her happiness to shine through first. To have her perfectly happy every day. To know that she goes to bed and wakes up with a smile on her face. For her to be treated with all the love and respect in the world and never be let forgotten of how wondrous and amazing she really is. Putting on a mask is something she's done her whole life for many different reasons, and here I am, struggling to keep the thing on each and every day as they pass.
Please, if you've read this, don't try to offer any kind of advice about it or anything. Just take it for what it is. Offer your opinion on the blog, but not on my life, please, at least not this time. Hope it was worth the read.
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You're doing fine. Even so that you don't need advice right now, you've got it pretty much figured out the way I see it. :)
Strong lil' noob :P